Cohiba is a name in cigars that is well known.  Like most Cuban brands the mark has two owners… the Cuban Cohiba and the Dominican version made by General Cigar since the early 1980s.  General Cigar trademarked the Cohiba name back in the 80s, but Cuba has been fighting that for the past 16 years.  Cuba has been losing the fight, but General Cigars has to keep defending itself.  The latest win for General was late last week when the US Trademark Trial and Appeals Board basically threw out Cuba’s claim with prejudice ( meaning they cannot refile).   According to the news release:

The TTAB ruled that because the federal courts have held that Cubatabaco may not sell Cohiba cigars in the U.S. or acquire any interest in the Cohiba mark, Cubatabaco lacks any property interest in the Cohiba mark.  Cubatabaco therefore has no standing to challenge General Cigar’s registrations of the Cohiba mark.

General Cigar’s President Dan Carr said, “This ruling once again affirms what we have believed all along: That Cubatabaco has no merit in challenging General Cigar’s ownership of the Cohiba trademark in the United States.”

Those who do not know history are doomed to repeat it.

Ever wonder about the wisdom of banning smoking in casinos?  A couple of years ago, Atlantic City tried to outlaw smoking in all casinos. The ordinance lasted about a week and was immediately repealed after the casinos lost a ton of money.

But aren’t we always told that non smokers would flock to anyplace that banned the evil weed and the money would flow. (Restaurants, Bars, Casinos) I know this to be a crock.  Back in the 90s, I was working for Hollywood Casino which, at the time, owned the Sands Casino in Atlantic City.  As a forward-looking experiment, the Sands opened a second floor casino that was totally non-smoking.   Hollywood wanted to see if the whole non smoking thing was true. Alas it wasn’t.  We were shooting a video at the casino and were able to use the whole second floor as a studio because it was completely free of gamblers….nobody wanted to play there. The experiment did not last very long as the casino brought back smoking to the second floor and the gamblers returned.

Which brings us up to today.  Revel Atlantic City was supposed to be the dream casino.  Huge, on the beach it was an upscale place and it opened almost a year ago.  Oh and one more thing, it was sooo cool the owners decreed Revel would be SMOKE FREE.  No nasty smokers anywhere around the place so everyone could breathe easier and the gamblers would flock in. Not so much.  Revel is in bankruptcy court with  1.5 billion dollar debt.  So as the company works its way back out, one of the first thing it is doing is to open up smoking on the casino floor.

Guess those high end non smokers never came. They will keep trying though.

Bloomberg keeps on giving

When we reported on Bloomie’s latest stunt for putting cigarettes out of sight and setting up a new enforcement program two weeks ago, we seemed to have missed something.  Buried inside the legislation is a mandate that sets a minimum price for cigarettes and cigarillos of $10.50 per pack.  Hummm…wonder what that minimum pricing will do?  Oh yeah continue to have New York lead in counterfeit and bootlegged smokes  as we earlier reported NYC is already number 1 in that regard (about 61% of all sold cigarettes in New York are bootlegged or counterfeit), guess Bloomie wants to keep that record going.

Jay Z smokin

We already know cigars are popular with some musical artists.  As we reported back in February, Pete Johnson of Tatuaje fame went on the South American tour with the Jonas Brothers (all of whom are legal to smoke and happen to like cigars)  Pete’s job was to keep them supplied with their favorite Tats…smokes that is.  Well now comes word that Jay Z is going to step it up a bit.  The Rapper is going on tour this summer with Justin Timberlake and in the contract for the concerts is a rider specifying a gentleman’s club will be set up back stage….it will be a place where Jay Z’s personal cigar roller can work unimpeded.  Yup Jay Z will have his own roller. This according to the British tabloid the Sun

“Jay met this cigar expert at a friend’s private party recently. He had been hired to roll cigars for guests in a smoking room,” a source in the rap star’s camp told the tabloid. “They were chatting for ages about the origins of tobacco and all the different types and then Jay-Z offered to have him on board for the tour dates. It goes well with the nature of the tour where there’s going to be a lot of whiskey and cigars.”

And Justin Timberlake’s new single Suit & Tie which was done in collaboration with Jay Z  has a the video showing cigars and whiskey flowing freely.  Should be a fun tour.

Bye Duke

Ya know it sucks having older dogs and today our home is a lot emptier.  Last fall,  we had to put Jake down and Monday it was Duke.  It was a tough call on Duke because he had been frail and probably in some pain for a while, but when he didn’t want to go for a walk, we knew it was time.  We never knew just how old Duke was.

We got him in a rescue situation where a vet called us to say that he had been dropped off by his owners and since they were going on vacation they did not want to board him so they were asking for him to be put to sleep.  We immediately went up to that vet and picked Duke up and brought him home.  He was within an hour of being put down and that was 8 years ago.  He had bad hips ever since we got him but over the past few months they were getting worse.  He had trouble sometimes standing, yet other times when on a walk his tail wagged and he had a ball.  I hate judgement calls like this but I think he was trying to tell us, it was time– of course he always wanted to please.

He had a good life but still it does not make it any easier.  He was a great dog and I miss him.

CAO Brazilia Carnivale

CAO has had the Brazilia line for a while, but now they are getting into the bigger ring gauges with the addition of the Carnivale.  It is a 6.5”x 60 box pressed cigar being introduced now in a limited quantity. Carnivale differs from the usual Brazilia in that the wrapper is not Brazilian, this time it is the binder.  The fillers are ligeros from the Dominican Republic, Honduras and Nicaragua and the wrapper is Habano Grueso which is grown in very small quantities, which is why the cigar is limited.

Ricky Rodriguez heads up the blending for CAO and he said:

“We haven’t changed any CAO blends since we took over the brand. But that doesn’t mean we couldn’t put our spin on one of them. That’s exactly what we did with Carnivale…it’s my and my team’s take on Brazilia. We added a new wrapper, made the original wrapper the binder, and cranked the whole thing up with more ligero.”

The Carnival comes in a bright yellow box with 12 cigars and a suggested retail price of $8.30 each.  Rick also hinted, according to the release, that the CAO team may be making tweaks to other CAO lines in the future. Stay Tuned.

Be a Blender

Speaking of CAO, the company about a year or so ago, gave consumers the chance to pick a blend.  The company offered a sample with three cigars only designated with the letters C, A, and O.  The idea was for you to smoke them and then report back on which blend you liked.  I forget which one won…but this concept of having actual cigar smokers trying out blends it still going strong.

Today, MATASA –  makers of the Quesada and Fonseca lines – have out a sampler which contains 8 cigars…6 of which are on the market and two samples of a test blend.  The Quesada family wants smokers to try them and let them know how the samples stack up against their other blends ( the Jalapa, the España and Tributo blends.)  If enough people like the samples, they will go into production.

Rafael Nodal of Boutique Blends Cigars is going one step further.  Nodal, who passed through town last week and is known for SWAG and Aging Room cigars, is planning on releasing what he calls the “Wild Pack” in June.  Nodal released the Aging Room M 356 in 2011.  The way that blend happened was that he and his partners (Jochy Blanco and Hank Bishoff) were originally looking for a blend for SWAG when they happened on this one.  They loved it, but the next day, Jochy said there was not enough of that tobacco for a major release.  A bunch of the cigars using the blend were made and then just kept in the Aging Room at the factory.  When people came to visit, they would always ask Rafael what he was smoking and he’d say get a cigar from The Aging Room…hence the name.  The number M-356 is the blend, made on a Monday on the 356^th day of the year.

At any rate, Rafael had the idea to play with other limited tobaccos for new Aging Room blends.  Last year was the Quattro F55 (it was made on a Friday) and this year it will be the M 21.  But the Wild Pack will be 5 different blends—all for Aging Room.  They were the finalists and Nodal wants the customers to decide which one should be released next.  (Probably late this year or early next whenever the M-351 finally runs out.)  He will be putting up his tasting sheet on the net and ask smokers to evaluate the 5 cigars and pick which one they like best.  So if you’ve ever wanted to help pick a blend, this is your chance.  Look for the Wild Pack around June.

Good News

The IPCPR has been busy on many state fronts and their latest victory is in Arkansas. Right now, Arkansas had a tax of 68% of wholesale cost for cigars which meant a $10 cigar becomes almost $17.  But thanks to the hard work of the state’s retailers, the IPCPR and the Cigar Association of America the new tax will cap out at 50 cents per cigar. A much better rate for consumers.  The legislation passed the state house 87 to 1 and just passed the state senate 34-0. The Governor signed the bill this morning and it goes effect October first.  Congrats to all.

Meanwhile

Bloomberg just keeps stepping in it.  On the Sunday shows apparently the Mayor proved he never read the Constitution, or if he did he did not understand it.  In talking about his soda ban hizzonor said:

“I do think there are certain times we should infringe on your freedom,” Mr. Bloomberg said, during an appearance on NBC.

 This guy really is a moron. But an even bigger moron exists…

Meet California freshman assemblyman Marc Levine from San Rafael.  He has introduced legislation that would CRIMINALIZE someone smoking in his or her home. This was too much even for Santa Monica, where the city council voted to oppose this nonsense.

Assembly Bill 746, which would, as City staff phrased it, prohibit smoking in all indoor areas of multi-family dwellings, including within the units of existing tenants otherwise protected by rent control and/or other local housing security and stability measures.

Non-compliance with the smoking prohibition would make smokers subject to eviction.

Nice make someone a criminal AND homeless all in one fell swoop.  No wonder even Santa Monica could not take this.  Of course being Kalifornia, the Santa Monica opposition was only to the bill as written.  If it is amended to provide more protections for renters they could change their opposition.

Moses Malone

For all of our Jewish cigar-smoking friends (which is about 99% of you), Monday at sundown down is the first night of the Passover holiday. And for eight crazy days, the Jewish people celebrate Passover as a commemoration of their liberation over 3,300 years ago by God from slavery in ancient Egypt and their birth as a nation under the leadership of Moses Malone, the legendary basketball Hall-of-Famer who played 19 years in the NBA. Wait! I’m confusing him with the original Moses (Charlton Heston)! Oy, I had a bad knish for lunch and I’m feeling a little verklempthere. Sorry!

Well, as I mentioned, it is estimated that 999 out of 1,000 Jewish men smoke cigars. Why, you ask? Because this gives them something to chew on while their yenta wives are nagging them for the Gold card so they can take the Caddy and go shopping at Bloomie’s…

Moses

Oh, quit complaining! I know this is a stereotype, but I too am, as they say, “a member of the tribe,” so I have the right to make fun of my people… plus it’s fun! Some folks even call me a self-hating Jew because I poke fun at my peeps and I haven’t been to temple since my Bar Mitzvah. Actually, my parents took me one other time after I officially became a mensch(man). It was on a fateful Rosh Hashanah in 1970 when, right in the middle of the service, Abe Weintraub started passing wind until he cleared out all of aisle six (our aisle). Rumor has it that until his dying day, Abe swore it was the man sitting next to him.

So what the hell does this have to do with cigars? You want I should explain? Well, for one thing, Abe was a big Dutch Masters smoker, and secondly (have patience), I’m getting to the cigar part already. Jeez, you guys are driving me meshuggah (crazy)!

Let me give all you goyim (non-Jews) a brief rundown of the traditional spread that is celebrated on this holiday. The Passover Seder is a Jewish ritual feast that marks the beginning of the Jewish holiday of Passover, and is conducted on the evenings of the 14th day of Nisan (not to be confused with the company that makes the Altima and Sentra) in the Hebrew calendar, and on the 15th by traditionally observant Jews living outside of Israel or Bayonne, New Jersey. Why Bayonne? Who knows?

Seder customs include drinking four cups of wine, eating matzo and partaking of symbolic foods such as horseradish, apples, nuts and lamb (coincidentally, these are some of the exact same flavor notes found on most cigars rated by Cigar Aficionado!). All of these symbolic foods are elegantly and traditionally placed on the Passover Seder table. There is a lot more to this ritual custom, but this is a blog not Hebrew School and, honestly, that’s all I know. Don’t forget that, although I am very proud of my culture, I have not attended a Jewish service since that fateful day when Weintraub cut the cheese.

Anyway, the Seder is performed in much the same way by Jews all over the world (except, oddly enough, in Ethiopia, where the women retreat to the den to watch Jeopardy! and the men line up outside on the porch and do the Harlem Shake. Why? Once again, I don’t know).

As all lovers of the leaf will acknowledge, after a lip-smacking Seder and four glasses of Manischewitz wine (which, in my opinion, tastes like a mixture of prune juice and paint thinner), nothing cleanses the palate like a good cigar. So now, fellow landsman (that’s what we Jews call each other. Just Google it; I’m getting tired of explaining everything! Enough already), is the perfect time to get out the stun gun so you can pry your credit card out of your wife’s sweaty hands and place an order with J•R for some fine Passover cigars.

Oh, and a special thanks to the Alec Bradley Company, which has made a very limited-edition Passover cigar just like they did on St. Paddy’s day with the Filthy Hooligan. This one is called Filthy Bernstein and it’s a solid, earthy smoke with subtle hints of gefilte fish, lox and pickled herring. Hurry… because this cigar doesn’t really exist! So I lied, shoot me!

On a serious note, may you all have a wonderful and blessed holiday. Enjoy good food, family, friends and some fine cigars. Chag Pesach Sameach! Happy Passover from our family at J•R to yours.

So, Sunday was St. Patrick’s day. Oh, what a glorious day for the Irish! As the saying goes, there are only two kinds of people in the world: the Irish and those with healthy livers.

Alright, calm down! I was only kidding; some of my best friends are Irish and not all of them are drunks. In fact, one of them only drinks a case of beer on the weekends. Sheesh, everybody is so politically correct these days!

And why the hell would you Tri-Staters want to spend the day in the Big Apple, crowded in like a herd of cattle stuffed behind police lines, watching the big parade and then navigating past the throngs of pimply white kids in green plastic hats puking up cheap whiskey all over Times Square to get back to your car or train?

The good folks in “Nawf Carolina,” where everyone has a friend named Bubba and even toddlers know how to drive

Filthy Hooligan Display

tractors, had a much more relaxing day at the World’s Largest Cigar Store because right here at good old J•R Cigars in the heart of County Alamance, from March 6 until St.Puketricks Day, March 17, we featured a fantastic deal on the Alec Bradley Cigar Company’s brand-new, limited-edition candela-wrapped Filthy Hooligan cigar, which is made with the same well-aged multination blend and double binder used in the extremely popular Black Market line.

This 6.00 x 50 cigar is finished with super-lush, super-green candela leaf straight from the renowned Plasencia farms in Nicaragua, which is just a short 5,034 miles from Dublin, Ireland! And with any purchase of these great cigars, we gave away all kinds of cool stuff like bottle openers, cutters, t-shirts, mugs, Irish hookers and lime -green Rascal scooters for our elderly clientele (actually, I’m not sure about the hookers and scooters; maybe I made that part up).

But for all of you that chose salty corned beef and green beer over a trip to J•R, not to worry; we still have plenty of these Filthy Hooligan cigars in stock sans holiday swag. And whatever you think about candela (green) cigars (and I’m sure it somehow correlates to the taste of raw lettuce or lawnmower clippings), I ask that you give these a try. The nice folks at Alec Bradley have put the long-forgotten green stick (again I use that stupid word) back on the map with these yummy smokes! You will be amazed at how good these cigars taste. And trust me, they had to put a gun to my head to smoke one!

Enough of the shameless advertising, you say? Well, guys, this is a J•R blog, for Chrissakes! We gotta pay the bills, you know!

Big Italian Nick

On a more serious note: Being a swarthy curmudgeon of Russian descent, I feel no real connection to this festive Irish holiday. The extent of my celebration was having a green bagel with my coffee on Sunday morning. But the same cannot be said for some of my coworkers who showed up on Friday in their pseudo St. Patty’s day attire. Say hello to J•R’s “Big Italian Nick”! Top o’ the mornin’ to ya and… fuhgeddaboudit!

Well, that’s it for now, and I would like to personally thank all of you that called in sick today with a mysterious virus bought on by a shitload of green beer and Irish whiskey; I made it to work this morning in record time! In fact, the roads were so clear that the toll collector at the Turnpike was reading War and Peace when I pulled up!

Campaign for Tobacco Free Kids takes aim at cigars and FDA control over them.  In a report out last week called Not Your Grandfather’s Cigar, the antis are pushing for FDA control over cigars.

The group said sales of cigars have gone from 6 billion to more than 13 billion over the past 12 years and –shock—it’s the kids who are smoking.  The report says:

“cheap, flavored, small cigars that appeal to young people are marketed aggressively and have resulted in high school kids and young adults being twice as likely as their older counterparts to be cigar smokers.”

Here is how they play the game.  It should be noted it is ILLEGAL for most high school kids to BUY tobacco, a young adult would be over 18 and legal to smoke but it doesn’t matter.

But you think oh they are after Swisher Sweets   or other machine made cigars so not to worry.  Well think again, because they do not differentiate.  The report further says:

“Given their success in marketing their products to kids and young adults, it is not surprising that some in the cigar industry are aggressively pressuring Congress to exempt them from any regulation by the FDA. No tobacco product should be exempt from regulation. ” (emphasis mine)

This means it is even more important for you to get involved.  Last session of Congress we got a majority of co-sponsors for the legislation to exempt premium cigars from the FDA’s clutches.  Now with a new session we have to start all over again.  HR 792 does just that.  But we need pressure on Congressment and Senators to sign up.  You can go to the Cigar Rights of America’s web site and send a message to YOUR Congressman.  Please do it NOW.

 Bloomberg Doesn’t Give Up

Well even though Mayor Bloomberg lost big last week (the mummies who had heart disease long before tobacco, fast food and big sodas) and the court knocking down his big soda ban, it doesn’t mean our boy  is lightening up.  Nope, now the king of New York City decided to come after tobacco again.  Of course Bloomberg said it is for the kids…give me a break.

The legislation would require stores to keep tobacco products in cabinets, drawers, under the counter, behind a curtain or in other concealed spots. They could only be visible when an adult is making a purchase or during restocking.

The legislation, for now, exempts cigar shops…but we know how THAT goes…give them an inch… besides isn’t it ALREADY illegal for kids to buy any types of smokes?  But you know once the 7-Elevens, drug stores and bodegas in NYC are covered it won’t be long before it would be expanded to the handful of cigar shops that are left.  Trouble is like most things they think up it doesn’t work.  Canada has had a display ban in parts of the country since 2002.  According to a paper by the Institute of Economic Affairs the policy has been “ruinous”.  The study says::

The display legislation will be sent to city council on Wednesday along with the  “Sensible Tobacco Enforcement” proposal.  The idea is to strengthen enforcement of discounted and smuggled cigarettes. You see New York is number one in cigarette smuggling.

A recent study by the Mackinac Center for Public Policy  showed why.

High excise taxes on cigarettes and tobacco lead to unintended consequences.

 Nearly 61 percent of all cigarette consumption in New York in 2011 was contraband.  It’s no surprise given that New York has the highest state levy at $4.35 a pack. But wait, there’s more.   Bloomberg adds yet another tax of  $1.50 per pack for the city making the total $5.85 in tax alone.

In addition to increased smuggling with higher taxes there has been a rise in thefts, hijackings of trucks carrying cigarettes, counterfeiting both tax stamps and cigarettes and violence against people and property which are very real consequences from the cigarette tax hikes.

“People don’t realize the degree to which government induces illegal and dangerous activity with bad policy,” said Michael LaFaive, director of the Mackinac Center’s Morey Fiscal Policy Initiative. “In this case, individuals cross borders for personal smokes and an organized, criminal class brings in contraband cigarettes by the van full.”

“Despite the best intentions by people who want to increase revenue or promote public health programs, [tax increases] are probably not having the positive impact they think they are having — and at the same time, they are creating costs and problems,” he concluded. “Officials need to ask themselves if a tax hike is worth it.”

In Bloomberg’s world everything that takes away liberties is worth it.

Last week, CAO sent a cigar lover on a cruise with Kid Rock for his annual “Chillin’ The Most” cruise. The contest was part of the kick off for the CAO Concert line of cigars. Justin Harris of Nashville won the cruise which included a CAO branded cigar lounge aboart the Norweigian Pearl cruise ship.  CAO blender Rick Rodriguez also was on board.  Said Ed McKenna the senior brand manager for CAO,

“Kid Rock’s ‘Chillin’ The Most’ is the ultimate expression of our brand.  It’s also a fitting way to celebrate the success of CAO Concert, which gives a nod to our rock n roll roots.”

Justin cruised the Bahanas getting back to port, and most likely reality, on Sunday.

Bloomie Loses

Bloomie (from Huff Post)

You may have already heard about part of this but this has been was a bad week for the nation’s top nanny.  Bloomie boy got shellacked in court and in a science paper.  First up,  a state judge stopped Bloomberg’s ban on 16 ounce sodas.  Yippee. The decision is a huge blow to the mayor’s efforts to control possibly every second of New Yorker’s lives and it came one day before the ban was to go into effect.   Said the judge, New York is “enjoined and permanently restrained from implementing or enforcing the new regulations”.  Why? Because he further said, “The Rule is nevertheless fraught with arbitrary and capricious consequences…the loopholes in this Rule effectively defeat the stated purpose.”

Gee a Bloomie health department rule that is arbitrary?  Who would have thunk it.  The NYC ban on big sodas excluded some places ( 7-Elevens ) and some drinks with more sugar ( milk shakes, lattes, frozen coffees etc.).  Oh and for all its good sounding BS, the rule never did address free refills.  The rule was strictly a nanny PR stunt.

The judge further said that the health board was basically trying to have virtually limitless authority.  The city’s arguments in favor of the soda cap would leave the board’s “authority to define, create, mandate and enforce limited only by its own imagination.”  That was the Mayor’s idea.  Of course the city wll appeal this common sense ruling most likely the challenge will continue long after Bloomberg is gone.

Science Fact

But if that wasn’t bad enough for Bloomie, the Lancet published a study this week showing that ancient mummies had clogged arteries….you know arteries we have been told that are clogged by fast food, sugary drinks and smoking.  Oh wait…ANCIENT mummies…4,000 years ago, way before all that stuff was invented.  Bloomie’s whole raison d’etat just went up in …hehehe…smoke:

Researchers say that suggests heart disease may be more a natural part of human aging rather than being directly tied to contemporary risk factors like smoking, eating fatty foods and not exercising.

Wait what?  SMOKING IS NOT the cause? Maybe it is time to look to something else rather than tobacco!

“Heart disease has been stalking mankind for over 4,000 years all over the globe,” said Dr. Randall Thompson, a cardiologist at Saint Luke’s Mid America Heart Institute in Kansas City and the paper’s lead author.

Thompson said he was surprised to see hardened arteries even in people like the ancient Aleutians who were presumed to have a healthy lifestyle as hunter-gatherers.

“I think it’s fair to say people should feel less guilty about getting heart disease in modern times,” he said. “We may have oversold the idea that a healthy lifestyle can completely eliminate your risk.”

Mayor Bloomberg….you listening?   (Of course not.)

Fellow cigar smokers: As we all know, our economy is in the proverbial crapper. The value of the US dollar is ranked 96^th in world value just below Zimbabwe and Uzbekistan. Yet the value of the Latin American cigar is booming. Let me ’splain.

Every knucklehead, even if he’s never smoked a cigar or watched a Marx Brothers movie, will graciously accept one just to feel like Fidel Castro or Winston Churchill if only for just one lousy puff. Even those who feel that a Ziploc bag of two-week-old meatloaf is more appealing than a cigar will take one to appease someone, whether it’s a boss, a father-in-law or the guys coming next Tuesday to deliver the new dishwasher.

So, what’s my point? I don’t know… oh yeah! My point is that a cigar offers one the chance to barter and open doors to lasting favors never dreamed possible. Take me, for example; I always have a stash of genuinely cheap albeit tasty cigars on hand at all times to offer to my irritating neighbors, or to expedite a favor or service. And after reading this painfully boring blog, hopefully you will too.

Now before I begin, remember this fact: Unless it becomes a devout hobby, almost all occasional cigar smokers don’t know squat about them; you can roll up a turd in cabbage and they will believe it was smuggled in from Havana by a congressman if that’s what you tell them Get it? Good!  So (and this is very important), on your next visit to J•R Cigars, add some inexpensive smokes to your order… but you must go to J•R only! Why, you ask?

Because I work here and if you don’t shop here I will lose my job and be forced to collect unemployment because it is hard to find a job when you’re almost 58 years old! Then when the unemployment runs out in three years, I’ll be 61 and living in a trailer park behind the Secaucus, NJ landfill. Then I will quickly realize that I’m totally unemployable and from all the stress, I will most likely lose my bladder control and have no choice but to be a greeter at Wally Mart and wear big-boy diapers. So just shop at J•R so this awful stuff doesn’t happen to me, okay?

Anyway, you have purchased your cheap (excuse me, I mean inexpensive) cigars from J•R only… now what?

Put together a list of all the people you deal with, may deal with or hopefully and sometimes regrettably have to deal with. Then eliminate those who will not accept a cigar under any conditions. A few examples: most nuns, the head of the FDA, the archbishop of Canterbury, the US surgeon general, and the old handicapped lady with six cats who yells at you for parking too close to her driveway.

With this knowledge in hand, I have painstakingly spent hours putting together a list of some tasty but very economical cigars that you should stock up on, along with some ideas about how and when to hand them out. (Actually I didn’t spend hours; I did it during a commercial break of the Ice Road Truckers marathon. I have a tendency to lie a lot.)

Don Mateo

This old-time bundled Honduran classic has been a favorite of old farts and cheap bastards for more than two decades. Feed these to your next-door neighbor occasionally and you will have and unlimited access to his hedge trimmers!

http://www.jrcigars.com/jr/index.cfm/hurl/evt=itemlist/catid=124/DON-MATEO.html

Five Star

This mild, silky smooth bundled handmade is the <i>exact same</i> smoke as some other famous brands that sell for two or three times the price! If offered during routine checkups, these tasty smokes will get you a doctor’s appointment within three hours, even during a flu epidemic.

http://www.jrcigars.com/jr/index.cfm/hurl/evt=itemlist/catid=154/FIVE-STAR.html

Red Dot

This mixed-filler baby tastes like those old classic Royal Jamaicans cigars… at a fraction of the cost. Every so often, leave a couple of these in your mailbox with a little sticky note saying, “Thanks for delivering my mail on time. Enjoy!” Do this and, I promise you, your priority package won’t be lying on your neighbor’s front porch during a thunderstorm.

http://www.jrcigars.com/jr/index.cfm/hurl/evt=itemlist/catid=743/RED-DOT.html

Riata

These medium-bodied Nicaraguans are for the guy who says, “I don’t need those fancy $12.00 cigars! These are pretty damn good… and were you doing 80 in a 60 mph zone?”

License, registration, Riata… no ticket! Just be careful with this one; if it backfires, you may be sitting in a cell next to some nut wearing aluminum foil on his head claiming to be receiving signals from Pluto.

http://www.jrcigars.com/jr/index.cfm/hurl/evt=itemlist/catid=398/RIATA.html

Maria Mancini

Okay, boys, I saved the best for last… this cigar is fantastic! It’s a Cuban-style box-pressed beauty that tastes just as good as many cigars costing at least twice the price. Whenever you see that guy across the street with his big house and fancy car, hand him one. I guarantee that, in no time at all, you’ll be sitting in his man-cave basement every Sunday afternoon watching football on his 90-inch flat screen while drinking his imported beer!

http://www.jrcigars.com/jr/index.cfm/hurl/evt=itemlist/catid=302/MARIA-MANCINI.html

And there you have it. Good luck, get creative and have fun. There is a world of opportunity awaiting you with a well-stocked humidor of bargain-basement sticks. (By the way, I really hate when someone calls a cigar a stick. In fact, it makes my skin crawl. But you guys like it, so what the hell?)

When you hear Syndicate, you often think of an old Cagney or Edward G. Robinson movie…maybe that is why the newest cigar group is called Sindicato, which is an amalgamation of top cigar retailers, including a former president of the International Premium Cigar and Pipe Retailers.   Sindicato Cigar Group LLC was officially lanched on January 16^th, but this past week, the group announced its new president (possibly the worst kept secret in the business).   Jim Colucci was named as the presdent and CEO of the company.

Colucci previously was the executive v.p. of sales and marketing for Altadis USA and was the mover behind such brands as Romeo y Julieta Reserva Real, Warlock, Frank Llaneza 1961 and Siglo among others.  The goal of Sindicato is to create new national brand cigars specifically for the participating retailers. According to Cigar Aficionado, the group was created by Abe Dabaneh who has an internet radio show kiss my ash and owns the Smoke Inn chain in South Florida; Jeff Borysiewicz, founder of Corona Cigar in Orlando; Gary Pesh, president of Old Virginia Tobacco company and former IPCPR president; Rob Roth of Nice Ash Cigars and Dan Jenuwine from Quality Fresh Cigars.

Colucci left Altadis in July 2011 and had a non-compete.  At last year’s IPCPR show, Colucci (after his non-compete was up)was hinting about getting back into the business and even gave me a test blend to check out.  The company plans to release their cigars at this year’s IPCPR trade show in Vegas.

Rare is Back

Punch Rare Corojo Perfecto

Punch Rare Corojo is back. Every year, General Cigar releases a batch of the cigars and this year, in addition to the usual 7 sizes, there is a new Perfecto at 7” x 48. The Punch Rare Corojo usually is in shops until around the end of May when they are all sold out.

They have been released every year since 2001…before that the lack of wrapper caused the cigar line to disappear for a while.   (Actually the original Punch Rare Corojo was a flop.  It came out when Dan Blumenthal and Frank Llaneza were running Villizon sometime in the 70s.  The original Rare Corojo had a sandy Connecticut wrapper on it…it did not sell because it was too mild for Punch smokers.  Enter a guy named Lew Rothman  (you know JR Cigars).  He knew Frank had all that Connecticut wrapper and tobacco so he bought it, made it a JR private label and named it after a pen….Excalibur by Hoyo de Monterrey.  Today the cigars are nothing like those originals, just thought you might want some history.)

This year’s release uses an Ecuadoran Sumatra wrapper with reddish hue.  The Binder is Connecticut Broadleaf and the fillers are Dominican, Honduran and Nicaraguan tobaccos.  Retail price for the Punch Rare Corojo is $4.79 to $7.39.  According to Gue Martinez

All of you “New Joisey” commuters and native “New Yawkers” may already know that, in October of 2009, the Big Apple’s mayor created an ordinance that restricts the sale of flavored tobaccos throughout the whole city. So, if you’re looking to purchase some “Jamaican Me Crazy” aromatic pipe tobacco or a cognac-flavored corona, you’re in for a big shock.

Per New York City’s health commissioner, “Flavored-tobacco products are marketed to youth, their packaging resembling that of candy and gum, and young people are more likely than adults to try flavored-tobacco products. This law, one of the first of its kind in the country, ensures that youth will be protected from these harmful products.”

Okay, I can understand if the honorable doctor was referring specifically to the monitored sale of those cheapo candy-store flavored blunts sitting on the front counter at the local Quickie Mart and are many times irresponsibly sold to underage smokers with fake IDs, because I sure don’t see a market for those amongst the old farts that enjoy a good machine made cigar. And I surely can’t imagine my 93-year-old Uncle Irving enjoying a blueberry stogie after downing a bagel with a shmear: “Oy vey! What’s up with these farkakte flavors? Where the hell is my Dutch Masters?”

Regulating Tobacco

So, yes, I can see regulating such blatant unregulated abuse of tobacco. But to make a sweeping bill that affects allflavored pipe tobaccos and cigars, no matter where or how they are sold, is pure stupidity that just adds another nail in the coffin for those poor tobacconists that have already been kicked in the cajones with a 75% tobacco surcharge in thecity that never sleeps!

This is just another example of government telling us what to do. For our own health, the King of Manhattan decided he was going to fight obesity as the New York City Health Department became the first in the nation to ban the sale of sugared beverages exceeding 16 ounces at restaurants, mobile food carts, sports arenas and movie theaters. Well, guess what? If I consume four triple cheeseburgers and a bag of Cheetos with my “healthier” eight-ounce soda, I’m still going to eventually be fat enough to have my own zip code! And admit it, most very corpulent (lard-ass) people wash down their bucket of chicken with a diet soda anyway. Perhaps it makes them feel less guilty… but I digress!

Let’s get back to the flavored-tobacco ban. Show me one pimply kid living with his parents and making $120 a week bagging groceries who is walking into a fine tobacco shop and dropping 10 bucks on a Maker’s Mark bourbon cigar, complete with glass tube and fancy melted-wax cap. No way, fella! He’s headed to that Quickie Mart for a 65¢ blueberry dog rocket so he can smoke Latin lettuce in his bedroom without his mom smelling anything suspicious. And he certainly isn’t going to take his whole paycheck and buy an $85.00 Savinelli pipe and a tin of Mac Baren Cherry Cavendish to start his spiral into the depths of tobacco addiction: Unsatisfied by smoking just cherry pipe tobacco, he turns to marijuana, the gateway drug to opiates. And when the opiates become too expensive, he hocks his Savinelli pipe for a bag of crack. And sadly, when he is living in a cardboard box behind the Home Depot, he will forever regret that first bowl of Mac Baren Cherry Cavendish…

Luckily things are a little better across the pond in “Joisey,” where our main man hasn’t seen his shoes since 1983; we are still allowed the guilty pleasure of negotiating a giant Slurpee while loading our pipes with gobs of gooey-casing goodness or smoking any flavored cigar that our hearts desire.

Mr. Mayor, there are much bigger problems to tackle in your city. And one day, if you’re not too busy, maybe you can put on a gas mask and walk into one of your local tobacco shops to see for yourself that you are depriving responsible adults their freedom of choice to enjoy flavored tobaccos… as they have for many years before you interceded. And guess what? I’m also sure you won’t find any nicotine-starved young folks drooling over a jar of vanilla pipe tobacco and begging for a fix.

Ok it was last week…on my birthday coincidentally.  February 27^th was National Cigar Day and it is that to commemorate the date that Oscar Hammerstein patented the first cigar-rolling machine in 1883.

He worked in cigar factories in New York when he first arrived and eventually became a cigar maker himself. He became wealthy through cigar making and that money allowed him to pursue his interests in theater and opera.  His grandson, Oscar Hammerstein II became a famous lyricist partnering with Richard Rodgers.  You know their work… these musicals still run on Broadway–The Sound of Music, South Pacific, Oklahoma, the King and I and Show Boat.  Again, all of that from a cigar.

Speaking of Birthdays

Avo Uvezian will soon turn 87.  I saw him down at Pro Cigar and he was still going strong. To mark the occasion of his birth, he will be releasing another new limited edition cigar.  This year’s will be the Dominant 13^th.  It takes its name from music the Dominant 13^th chord.  (If you really want to know about it check here) The new Avo cigar will be a 6” x 52 toro using mostly Dominican tobaccos with a wrapper from Ecuador.  The cigar will cost $15 and come in a box of 13.  Only 9,000 boxes have been made.  It will debut at the end of this month at a special party in New York City and should be on shelves sometime next month.

New Cigar Company

Well new to us anyway.  The company is called Kuuts.  According to a news release, Compañia Hondureña de Tabacos has opened Kuuts Distribution Center in Miami with the intent of selling 3 new premium cigars to the U-S.  The release says the company sells over 2-million cigars a year throughout Europe and the rest of the world. (The primary company is based in Spain).  Compañia Hondureña de Tabacos has been in business over 15 years and has a new factory in Danli, Honduras which is capable of making 6 million cigars a year.

The three brands coming into the U-S will be the Placeres Reserva, a box-pressed cigar coming in 5 sizes using a Habano wrapper grown in Nicaragua over Costa Rican binder and fillers from Honduras and Nicaragua.  Miró will come in 4 sizes and will use a Sumatran wrapper with Nicaraguan and Honduran fillers.  The Tabacalera Zapata (named for one of the company’s founders Ramon Zapata Perez) will use a Connecticut Oscuro wrapper with Nicaraguan binder and fillers from Nicaragua, Honduras and Jaltepec—which is a Habano seed grown in Mexico.  The cigars are said to be medium to full bodied.

Long time cigar guy John Gonzalez is the Vice President of the company and says he believes they have a great portfolio of products for the US market.  The cigars should be hitting stores in the next week or so.

Denmark says No

According to Christopher Snowden, Denmark has rejected the E-U Tobacco Products Protocols….which is a nice way of saying Denmark is saying no to the E-U’s plan to ban tobacco and even E-cigarettes.  Danish politician Merete Riisager made the announcement on her Facebook page and it says (courtesy Bing  translation):

 I have never smoked, and probably never will come to it, but it provokes me enormously, when politicians from the municipal level to the EU will legislate on whether to smoke or not.

For me, it is a totally inappropriate interference with personal freedom.

In Europe the Committee, I have today helped send a tobacco directive back to the head of the Commission, which among other things would prohibit snuff, cigarettes with flavour, thin cigarettes and cover 70% of the packages with warnings. If customize many countries do the same, the Commission must start over.

If the EU, State and municipalities have managed to make all people non-smoking (what the dog hardly does), we will be healthier, but it is a poor community that want to control its citizens completely into the private sphere. A rich life is to have his personal integrity intact, and even to be able to choose; good, bad, fun, unhealthy, healthy or decidedly silly.

The only thing that is certain in life is that we die at the end. What we do with life while we have it, we even have the right to decide.

If only more politicians would stand up, but alas the next two are more the norm….

 Hypocrisy

Norway was one of the first countries to ban smoking everywhere.  It was back in 2004.  Well now they are relaxing the smoking ban….but not for tobacco.  Guess for what?  Marijuana…posh.  Nope Heroin.  Yup. If the Health Minister in Norway has his way, that illegal opiate would be legal to smoke, but NOT tobacco.  The logic is simply amazing.

Never Compromise

It is often said you can compromise with the anti tobacco side…I find this not true.  They will take whatever they can and then push further.  Case in point, Minnesota has a smoking ban, but along with 11 other states there is an exemption for theatrical productions. Now the state is considering taking it away.

 …a state senator says there’s no reason actors should subject the audience to tobacco fumes or glorify smoking on stage, and she has introduced a bill that would ban the practice.

 But the senator said she is open to letting actors use e-cigarettes or herbal ones.  Right it is tobacco that is EVIL.  Maybe she should move to Norway.